Stephen Hewson Coaching

My new oven was delivered yesterday morning.  I wasn’t particularly pleased at having to buy a new one as we’re planning to refit the kitchen fairly soon and it would have been good to buy everything at the same time.

Anyway needs must and the oven arrived on time without fuss.  It was easy to fit and yes, okay, it looks smart enough, shiny stainless steel and all.

In an effort to be efficient, this morning I fished the yellowing and rather stained instruction manual of the now defunct oven out of the kitchen drawer.  The intention was to put it straight into the recycling bin.  So far, so good.

I’d just make myself a cup of tea and started to flick through the old instruction manual.  I found it unexpectedly absorbing - possibly because I should really have been doing my accounts.  I hadn’t realised, after a decade of daily use, that there was a very simple and very useful automatic function.  I also discovered that it had been sold with a five year guarantee.  That would have been a good thing to know, when the thermostat broke a year after I bought it.  Then there was a clear, simple diagram explaining the removal of the oven door for cleaning…

My phone rang and brought with it a reality check.  Why would anyone spend fifteen minutes reading the instruction manual of their eleven year old, condemned oven?

I’ve not come up with an answer and, tellingly, have to confess that I have yet to look at the instruction manual for my shiny new oven.  Tomorrow maybe.

One of my favourite rituals is coffee and newspapers in a local coffee shop.  It’s a lovely start to the day and I do it two or three times a week.  One of my favourite, up market haunts changed hands a few months ago.  The cafe in question had a solid customer base and a distinct personality.  All of the regulars, including me, were slightly concerned about what would happen when the new owners took over but we all wanted to give them a fair chance.

I don’t go there any more.  Neither do most of the old regulars.  It’s not down to lack of effort on the part of the new owners - more that they didn’t understand their clientele and the concept of the place they’d bought.  They didn’t understand that a simple thing like putting photographs of their fayre on the front windows would signify a catastrophic drop in standards.  The neat box hedge each side of the door has been allowed to die.  The menu has changed and become much more ‘caff’ than cafe.

The frustrating thing is that they’ve had lots of feedback via the local community website.  I suggested (face to face) that it would be a good idea to take the glossy photographs of the food down.  They are still there, if a little more faded now.

The loss of my favourite coffee shop in its former incarnation has served to remind me what an amazing resource feedback is.  Had its value been recognised and used by the new owners, I’m pretty sure they would be selling a lot more coffee right now.

I always enjoy teaching presentation skills and techniques.  It’s great fun and very rewarding.  Last week a client asked me to check out the presentation he was giving the following day.  It was his first one and he was reasonably confident though he knew that he had a lot to learn.

The dress rehearsal began and there was lots about his presentation that was good.  His voice was excellent, he knew the content without relying on Powerpoint or a script and was confident.  The only thing letting him down at this point was his posture and his hand movements.

This was easily solved.  I showed him ‘presenter stance’.  Stand up straight, relaxed shoulders, feet in line and slightly apart.  Straight back, level head, knees soft.  Arms to hang down by hips, hands relaxed.

If this stance is maintained through a presentation it will eradicate distracting and inappropriate subconscious gestures.  We’ve all seen presenters adjusting their genitals, pulling at their bra straps and scratching their bottoms - completely unaware that they’re moving at all.  It also facilitates breathing which is key to any good presentation.

My client came back today and was very pleased with how things went.  We’re going to explore more presentation techniques and skills over the next few weeks. 

There’s lots of misinformation out there about hypnosis.  I offered to hypnotise a client recently for insomnia.  He was reluctant because he thought I would be able to ‘find out all his secrets’ (please!)  Lots of people seem to have the idea that they will lose control or behave in a way that will be embarrassing.  I’m guessing this is largely due to popular TV hypnotists.  I don’t actually know very much about how these showmen operate but do know that I can see little relation between these shows and the work I do.

In a nutshell, hypnosis is about inducing a deep state of relaxation in a person and talking to their conscious and unconscious mind.  Interestingly, it’s probably as much about the skill of being hypnotised as the skill of the hypnotist.  We all go into states of trance at various times every day.  A good example might be sitting at the traffic lights staring into space, the hypnotic state being broken by an impatient motorist behind. 

Hypnosis is simple and can be an extremely useful tool for lots of challenges.  I’ve used it for anxiety, anger, smoking and more.  Most recently I’ve discovered how useful it can be for weight-loss, by suggesting that a virtual gastric band has been fitted.  Although clients know that they don’t actually have a gastric band, after the hypnotic induction they are likely to have a greatly reduced appetite.  This obviously leads to less food and impressive weight-loss.

So - three… two… one…